


house of memories

by lovelylightwovd



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Memories, Past Character Death, Song Lyrics, this is my first fic and i really hope you like it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylightwovd/pseuds/lovelylightwovd
Summary: It has been so many years since Alec died. Magnus is back at there old home and some painful memories come up again.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	house of memories

It was my home.

It had been 37 years exactly since Magnus had seen this house. On the worst day of Magnus’ many days he had run away. Not from anyone but from the unbearably painful memories that were associated with this house. No. With this _home_. He was taking it one step at a time on shaky legs to the front door. He rummaged through his bag until he found the house key. This was going to be one of the hardest things Magnus has ever had to do. He was singing the lyrics of one of his favorite songs softly under his breath to try and calm down.

 _There_ _is a house built out of stone_  
 _Wooden floors, walls and window sills_

Magnus looked around at the real wooden floors he had picked out many years ago when making this house with Alec. His gaze found the window. The window where they would look out of to see the boys playing or to see Jace and Simon bickering. The window where they would look at their family and smile softly. Magnus hadn’t seen Simon in over a decade. Maybe he should call him, he thought. After Izzy had died they had seen less of each other and even less after every new funeral that came after it. With that thought he grimaced, he hadn’t kept in touch with any of his friends after that fateful day. was too painful. He hoped they would understand.

_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust_

Magnus looked around again and smiled. He was looking at the multi-colored chairs around their old dinner table where they used to eat, laugh, cry, and strategize. They were worn down, old, and dusty but everything in this house held sentimental value and Magnus didn’t have the heart to get rid of them. On each of the chairs were names written in permanent marker. The memory of Max sloppily writing there names on those chairs always made him smile. It had happened one night when Max had found a sharpie. There was a chair for Alec, Magnus, Rafe, and Max that were permanently at the table. In the garage Magnus remembered, where many more chairs with many more names written on them. It had become sort of a tradition. If you were at the house quite a bit you definitely had a colorful chair with your name on it. The more often they had been at the house the more writing that was on them. Magnus remembers reading “the best husband ever” written on his chair the day of their anniversary. All the memories made Magnus smile but he could also feel tears welling up in his eyes. He misses his family he thinks, he misses them so much.

_This is a place where I don't feel alone_   
_This is a place where I feel at home_

This house was the place where he had felt the most at home Magnus thought. The only competition to that being when he was in Alec’s arms. There were always people at the house, be it the kids or Magnus’s friends or Alec’s siblings. Magnus was always surrounded by people he loved. This is why it's so much harder to be walking around this house. Because it's not only filled with memories of Alec but with memories of so many mortals that he came to love when Alec came into his life. Blondie, Izzy, Biscuit, Maryse, Maia, Luke, and so many more. Magnus was supposed to live in this house for many more years with Alec. They had finally figured out how to make him immortal but a couple decades later he had died anyway. It made him furious. They were supposed to have so many more years together. But at least he’s with everyone else he thought. Alec had missed his family so much after they had passed and Magnus hoped that right now they were all together and they were all happy.

_'Cause, I built a home_   
_For you_   
_For me_

He continued looking around and he stopped and his eyes landed on the framed blueprints on the wall. A couple years after they had gotten married they had decided they wanted a new place to live. Magnus and Alec both loved the loft but it would always feel more like Magnus’s space and Magnus wanted Alec to have a place where he could truly feel at home. They had spent weeks looking at houses but none of them were what they were looking for so Magnus took it upon himself to build a home for the LIghtwood-Banes. He spent months looking over things. The kids each had their own room and a playroom which would later be used as an office space for the boys. Alec had a room where he trained and a separate room for his office. They had a huge backyard for all of the hosting that was destined to happen. He remembers Alec saying “We have to frame it. You put so much work into it.” whilst looking at Magnus lovingly. The house was amazing. But it was now only a reminder that he no longer had anyone to share it with. The day his husband died Magnus left the house and he had never stepped foot into it again until now.

_Until it disappeared_   
_From me_   
_From you_

He walked farther into the house and went into the training room. He looked around and spotted the bow and arrow in the center of the room and that brought back the memory of the day the love of his life died.

It was warm. So warm. It was mid-july and the sun was blazing. Alec had gone on a run after eating breakfast. It was a normal day. It was so normal. To normal. So normal that when he got a call from Max hysterically crying he couldn't even process what was happening. From pure muscle memory he made a portal to the infirmary and saw that the person who he was supposed to have a million more laughs, kisses, and days with, was dead. He had an arrow in his chest and leg and he was so completely still. He ran up to Alec's body and started sobbing. “You can't leave me yet. Please don't leave me Alexander.” he remembered saying softly while crying over his husband's lifeless body.

He touched the bow and arrow and gave a wet laugh. The weapon that had saved his shadowhunters life so many times had also ended it. It was sort of poetic.

_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust_

The funeral had been horrible. He stood next to his corpse and shed silent tears. He doesn't remember it well but they had said “For we are but dust and shadows. Ave Atque Vale, hail and farewell." he knows because he had gone to many shadowhunter funerals before. Maryse’s then Luke’s then came Izzy, Clary, and lastly Jace. Jace’s funeral had been the most difficult because of how distraught Alec had been to not only lose his brother but the other half of his soul. The days after their deaths were some of the most painful memories made in this house.

_Out in the garden where we planted the seeds_   
_There is a tree as old as me_

He steps outside to look at the garden. It was perfectly tended to. Magnus smiled. He knew that Rafe and Max came and tended the garden. When they moved Alec had discovered a new found love for gardening. “You take something as small as a seed and with a little help it turns into something beautiful or something delicious.” he remembers Alec saying when Magnus had asked his husband why he loved gardening so much. Alec was strong and tough but with so many things he was so gentle. Alec had the loyalest, fiercest, gentilest, most loving heart of anyone Magnus had ever known.

_Branches were sewn by the color of green_   
_Ground had arose and passed it's knees_

He looked up and saw the treehouse. Magnus had made sure to add a treehouse after remembering Alec telling him that he had always wanted one growing up after seeing it on mundane movies. It was Alec's favorite place in the world Magnus knew. Max and Rafe hadn't even used it very much growing up preferring to play in the playground or play room instead. When Alec needed space he would be up in that tree house. When he was deciding if immortality was something that he wanted he had spent hours up there. He would read up there or sometimes they would sit up there together and just enjoy each other's company. Magnus enjoyed the treehouse but it was husband's space and he only ever went up there when Alexander was up there as well.

_By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top_   
_I climbed the tree to see the world_   
_When the gusts came around to blow me down_

He looked up at the treehouse and started climbing. When he sat down he remembered the last time he had seen the love of his life in the treehouse. He had been grinning at Magnus. It had been similar to the smile Alec gave him the first time they met Magnus remembered fondly. He had told him to get up here. Magnus had been having a horrible day but Alec had kissed him and asked “Better?” and somehow it was. Because any day that Alec kissed him was a good day.

_I held on as tightly as you held on to me_

Magnus thinks back to the first time they had said “I love you.” Alec had looked frantic when Magnus had found him and he had immediately been pulled into a bone crushing hug. They had said there I love yous and had a shared kiss so full of love that Magnus has wanted to stay in that moment forever.

_I held on as tightly as you held on to me_

Magnus remembers another very memorable hug. When Magnus had seen Alec in Edom he had almost been sure that he was hallucinating. But when he hugged him he had been _real_ and Magnus had never wanted to hold on to a person more than at that moment.

_And, I built a home_   
_For you_   
_For me_

Magnus sat in the tree house and looked at the house for hours. He was remembering so many of the beautiful memories he had had here.

 _Until_ _it_ _disappeared_  
 _From me_  
 _From you_

With a wave of his hand he moved everything that was inside the house into a storage unit. He moved the garden into Rafe's backyard and he climbed down the treehouse and moved it into Max’s backyard.

_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust_

He spared one last look at the house for he knew that it was last time he would ever see it.

It wasn’t my home he thought. It was _our_ _home_.

**Author's Note:**

> The italics are the lyrics to To build a home by the Cinematic Orchestra


End file.
